Death to the beauty with brains. At least that’s what the Femina Miss India 2015 pageant seemed to say.
To give the devil his due, kudos to the organizers Femina Miss India to decide to be honest about what the competition was “really” about. So apart from the competition lobotomisation you saw this reduced to last 90 minutes or so, also dispense with the charade that the parade was only ‘incidentally’ associated with the beauty industry and film.
What we have now under the guise of the Femina Miss India competition is the ‘Filmfare Awards-meets-Radio Mirchi awards.
Gone are the judges out of Bollywood and fashion industry. No athletes, social workers, writers and business leaders. So do not Parmeshwar Godrej, Chetan Bhagat, Vijender Singh, etc. I never realized how much I would miss them. Until I saw the contest, ie.
What I saw instead was a line-up of judges that included actors has been aging ,, designers and not the most popular stars. The only saving grace was Manisha Koirala, who seemed a little upset about what I was witnessing.
Who else was there? Anil Kapoor in blue shiny dark glasses, film producer Firoz Nadiadwala, actor and producer John Abraham, Sonali Bendre, Shilpa Shetty, Sonu Nigam, Shiamak Davar, Chitrangadha Singh designers Abu Jani and.
The judges rather than made it clear that there was no need for the contestants to cerebral appear. There was also no pretense that this was a door to a life beyond the beauty industry. So full points for managing the expectations of both contestants and spectators.
The show – really can not call a contest more – it started with the performance of Meet Brothers (one step down from Yo Yo Honey Singh last year) and Kanika Kapoor sang while the contestants entered the stage. The Brothers Meet appropriately sang “Hangover”.
This was followed by Dadi and Palak Comedy Nights coming on stage and making John Abraham wear a sari, because what may possibly be more fun than watching two men dressed as women, wearing another man as a woman? Sigh.
Then, just in case you thought it was time for the contestants to get back in – Kareena Kapoor got to make some dance numbers instead. And then, of course, was his turn to speak with some nonsense Palak and Dadi. I have no comment on its segment because it was very strange.
Then, realizing that perhaps the contestants of Femina Miss India pageant should get sometimes minutes onstage, something called FBB round was announced. Presented by singer Benny, this seemed to be the second segment of the show Radio Mirchi-meets-Miss India.
What Dayal made? He sang while the contestants entered the stage dressed in white, blue and pink. Then, just to heal us from the misperception that the parade was about the contestants, someone called Shalmali Kholgade took the stage to sing some more.
The next “challenge” to the contestants was that they would have to do something “alag yes” to a song from Bollywood. To his credit, including Shilpa Shetty looked surprised. And Sonu Nigam to feel useful, I began to sing songs while four contestants “perform”. There really is no other word for what is expected to do.
To give the girls all the credit, not shrink. The angle “alag se” was to sing a song Sonu Nigam fast paced and the girls have chosen to do a slow dance to the song. Because, of course, requires talent. Then he singing a slow pace would have to dance fast. After all, what could be more wonderful than a man singing songs while an audience full of people watch strange women dance for them?
Just when I was recovering from this segment, Palak and Dadi appeared once more this time to serve margaritas that seemed Cola. There was a bit of sexual abuse where Dadi force kissed John, because – if it fails the first time – you see, is so hilarious that a man dressed as a woman and is kissing another man tackles.
